Back to class - Lola shares that, ever since then, she has been scared of
people in big costumes. Everybody starts laughing, which irritates her. The
teacher asks her if she felt better after sharing that secret - she didn't.
The teacher consults her teacher's manual - and discovers she really shouldn't
have asked a student to share a secret out loud at all. Fumbling along, she
then gives the class an assignment - to write down a secret on a piece of
paper. She assures them nobody will read it.

Zoey's room that evening - Chase has a delivery. He tries to get Zoey to
reveal her secret! She writes something on a sheet of paper, asks him to read
it in the hall. It says she isn't telling him her secret!

Outdoors the next day - Logan is practicing golf. The Psychology teacher is
leading the class outdoors to hold class - holding a bunch of balloons! She
asks everybody to get out their paper with the secret written on it. They
are going to tie the paper to the balloons and let the balloons go. Michael
doesn't want to be stuck with the pink balloon, so Zoey agrees to switch.
Stacey thinks it is a great idea - she is really enthusiastic - then her
balloon pops!!! She says she has such bad luck - the teacher tries to
reassure her that there is no such thing - when one of Logan's gold shots goes
astray and hits her in the head, knocking her unconscious! The students
release their balloons, which head into the sky.

Night at PCA. A mysterious figure notices a pink balloon - Zoey's - caught in
a tree. They fashion a tool from a piece of tree limb, and retrieve it.

Later - Zoey's room - Zoey is writing to her grandma. Someone shoves a note
under her door - it is a mysterious note made of block letters instructing her
to go to zoeysballoon.com. The web site tells her that he/she found her
balloon, knows what her secret is, and instructs her to come back tomorrow -
if she doesn't do what the web site says, her secret will be revealed to
everybody at PCA!

The next morning - Zoey opens the web site. It instructs her to wear a banana
suit all over campus.

Zoey walks around the campus, with everybody laughing and taking pictures.
Everybody except Michael and Chase, who greet her normally. Lola is helping
Quinn get poppy seeds out from between her teeth - when Zoey joins them.
Lola, of course, has her deep seated fear of costumed people, and runs away
screaming! Quinn pressures Zoey for the reason why she is in a costume, and
Zoey agrees to tell her - back in the dorm room.

That night in the their dorm room, Zoey is talking with Quinn and Lola about
the blackmail. They wonder what secret could be so bad - but Zoey refuses to
tell them. She would rather be blackmailed than reveal it to anybody. Quinn
asks for the note - she can do analysis on it to see who it is.

The next morning, Quinn has been working all night, when the others hear the
alarm. Quinn was unable to find out anything from the note. So - Zoey has to
check the web site. Today she has to get up on a table and dance to an awful
old song, the Macalana, at 6 PM. Zoey really does not want to do it! She is
so upset, she leaves and wants to be alone.

Quinn and Lola are left in the room, feeling really bad for her - but Quinn
decides to look up the IP address - to trace the blackmailer!

A knock at the door of a dorm room, Firewire opens up to find - Quinn and
Lola. They ask him why he is blackmailing Zoey, and he tries to shut them
out. But it is too late - they have their foot in the door and shove in.
Firewire picks up a toy "light sabre," and waves it back and forth, making the
"womp" sound. Of course it is a toy, he is completely devoid of reality -
Quinn grabs it and tosses it aside. Firewire says, "thanks a lot force!" Lola
repeats the question - why is he blackmailing Zoey! Firewire denies it - he
was just helping the person create the web site. He won't tell on the person
who is blackmailing Zoey. He is about to call Dean Rivers, when Quinn gives him
a nerve pinch - knocking him out. They grab him by the feet to drag him off
---

--- when he wakes up, he is in the girls' dorm room, all tied up. They start
the interrogation! They have a bag of his "Galaxy Wars" action figures.
Quinn pulls out the Princess - and tells him he'd better tell - or the princess
will take a bath - in ACID! Quinn echoes a line from "Star Wars" - "Help her,
Firewire, you're her only hope!" So - the princess in her original wrap
disappears in the green acid --- Next up is Firewire's "Nuk Nuk" - and he
cracks.

Zoey is walking to her appointed dance, when Lola and Quinn intercept her with
the good news. They tell her they know who is blackmailing her - and they go
to confront the person.

A lounge at PCA - a girl is lining up a pool shot. It is Rebecca - Chase's
ex-girlfriend. Zoey grabs the cue ball and confronts her. At first, she
denies, but then admits, she is the blackmailer. But - it changes nothing.
She still has the upper hand and knows it - she still blames Zoey for Chase
breaking up with her, and she tells Zoey she only has 20 minutes to do her
dance. She leaves, telling Zoey she can't wait for her to dance and look like an
idiot. Zoey goes to get the boom box. She tells Quinn and Lola her secret is
so bad, she would have to leave PCA.

The center of campus - Zoey climbs down the stairs with the boom box. Rebecca
is there with a couple of girls who might be her "posse." Everybody gathers
around as Zoey gets on the table. She is about to turn on the music, but
decides not to, and tells Rebecca she isn't going to do it. Rebecca climbs on
a table. Lola, Chase, Quinn, Logan, and Michael arrive. Rebecca starts her
speech --- but Chase climbs up on a table and tells a secret. He was a flower
"girl" when he was five. Lola tells hers - she had to have help taking off
her bra the first time. Michael cries for two hours after being dropped off
at PCA. Quinn has 6 toes on her right foot. Stacey is already there, and
says that every dog she ever had bites her and runs away. Firewire wishes
he was Ryan Seacrest. The Psychology teacher admits she never got her degree.
Thus bolstered, Zoey is ready to reveal her secret. At 4, she was the little
girl with the naked butt in the suntan lotion commercial. Rebecca completely
defused - Zoey decides to go ahead and do the Makalana. Everybody joins in.

Closing line - none

ANALYSIS:

Lola's fear of costumed people reminded me of Troy McGinty in "Max Keeble's
Big Move." At first I thought Dan might have worked on Max Keeble - but there
is no connection that I can find.

What can I say about PCA teachers? Up until now, they have been good except
for the coaches. But the Psychology teacher? Incompetent comes to mind.

The scene with Zoey and Chase delivering sushi reminds me of "Time Capsule" -
he wants to know that secret! It cleverly leads the viewer into thinking that
she is writing something about Chase.

Continuity: Chase still has his job at Sushi Rox.

The squabble over balloon color was a masterful stroke to make sure everybody
remembered Zoey had pink - for subsequent scenes. But the pink is almost lost
- which I think might have been an accident in one of the takes, left in the
show for realism. It may have been an opportunity for ADR "voiceover,"
because Michael says "good job, Zoey" - he might have called her Jamie when the
scene was filmed.

Slapstick comedy moment - if Stacey had actually been hit by a golf ball,
everybody should have been much more concerned and an ambulance called.

Slight blooper - Stacey changes position from lying on her stomach to lying on
her back in different takes. And there is a girl that sounds like Stacey
saying, "I'll miss you" - but she is unconscious at the time.

Minor blooper - the prevailing wind at Pepperdine University is almost always
on shore. The balloons would have blown towards the mountain, not the sea.
But this could explain why Zoey's balloon supposedly ended up in a tree - the
weird wind pattern blew it back. Of course, the scene was actually filmed at
Santa Clarita. And in the "Zoey Universe," we don't even know the school is in
Malibu (I think).

A bit of a question for thought - most likely, the kids wrote nothing on the
papers sent up in balloons - but suppose they really did write on them!
Somewhere, in the mountains surrounding Santa Clarita - REAL secrets may still
be found from the day this scene was filmed!

Continuity - Zoey writes to her grandparents in an earlier season. In this
season, she only writes to her grandma. We could draw the conclusion that one
of Zoey's grandfathers has died in the interim. Or perhaps it is a grandma on
the other side.

Continuity - Quinn still puts South African guppies in her nose to stop
snoring.

"zoeysballoon.com" was not registered immediately after the episode first
aired, but now points to the Zoey page at nick.com. The garbled voice on the
web site in the episode belongs to Dan Schneider.

Makalana is a slightly changed reference to the Macarena - an equally bad
song.

The IP address Quinn types into the computer: 125.555.238.124 does not
exist.

Continuity - Firewire was introduced in last season's "Robot Wars."

Firewire's and Quinn's references to "Star Wars" are quite close - but the
name of the film was changed to "Galaxy Wars," Princess Armidala to "Princess
Oblongata," and Jar Jar to "Nuk Nuk." No doubt to avoid copyright problems.

Minor blooper - when you look at the character name for the action figure, the
Princess is "Delarnkta" (or something like that), not Oblongata. It was
impossible to read the name of the other character - but it was not "Nuk Nuk"
on the package.

More Star Trek analogies - once again, Quinn uses a nerve pinch to knock
someone out. She last did this "The Great Vince Blake."

Important safety note - do not drop objects from a height above a beaker of
acid, gently lower. Quinn should also have used safety goggles.

Continuity - Quinn brings up the "6 toes on her right foot" again. As I have
previously documented - there is photographic evidence that Quinn does NOT in
"Little Beach Party" and other episodes.

What image from my childhood memory could be more innocent than the dog

pulling the little girl's bathing suit in the Coppertone commercial. The
thing is - that is the childhood memory of a 52 year-old man. I don't think
Coppertone has used that ad campaign in decades, so Zoey's admission would
only mean something to adult viewers.

Logan does NOT reveal a secret.
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