In Quinn's Alpaca:
It is revealed Quinn is from Seattle AND who she gets her insanity
from;
Michael gets a girlfriend whose name he can't say;
Dean Rivers'
first name is revealed.
It starts with Quinn in
Dean Rivers' office. She has set up a voice
automated system in his office. They have fun for a little while,
more specifically, Dean Rivers has fun whilst Quinn supervises.
"Say lights."
"Lights." The lights turn on and off. The same for the door
opening/closing, and even his coffee machine. Quinn realises she is
late. She leaves with a word of caution.
"If you're ever intruded and in trouble just yell 'dogs.'" She
whispers the last word.
"Do..."
"SHHH! ONLY if you're in danger," she warns. Dean Rivers is
marginally impressed, looking slightly curious.
"I'll email you with my bill," she informs.
After she leaves, his secretary bells through.
"Dean Rivers, your wife is here to see you." He hides behind his desk
as his wife storms in.
"CARL! HOW COULD A GROWN MAN SPEND $2000 ON VIDEO
GAMES?" she screams.
Sneaking his voice system from the desk, he whispers,
"Dogs." Then very loud alarms and dogs start sounding, and Mrs Rivers
runs out screaming.
"Thank you, Quinn," he whispers, almost as if praying.
----------------------
Michael is showing off, trying to impress the lovely Vanessa,
watching him from the sidelines. After scoring an impossible shot,
back to the basket, eyes closed, reverse shot off the backboard and in,
the boys accuse him of showing off for Vanessa. He pretends he hadn't
even noticed her.
"Why don't you just ask her out?"
"She's too cute - I'd throw up."
"Girls love that," Logan says sarcastically.
"Yeah, just puke on her, and you're In-like-Flynn." ~ (A very
appropriate line for Sean, assuming he was referring to Errol Flynn,
his grandfather, a notorious ladies' man.)
Chase takes the ball from Michael, ready to continue their game of
HORSE. Michael is on H, Logan on HO and Chase on HOR.
"Yeah, I know I'm losing." He turns around and attempts to score.
Failing miserably.
"And THAT would be S." Michael laughs.
"No, I reject the S," Chase growls.
"You CAN'T reject the S, you missed the basket."
"I Hate the letter S! In fact, I am starting a petition to have the
letter 'S' taken OUT of the alphabet," Chase says stubbornly.
"You can't live without the letter S," Logan says reasonably. After
the argument continues, the boys decide to make a bet that the first
of them to use a word with the letter 'S' in it has to run through
the PCA campus wearing just a bikini top, a hula skirt, and a flashing
light on their head (Chase's addition was the light).
The boys struggle from the beginning, especially when Vanessa comes
to talk to Michael and he says,
"Hey Vane.... hey... hey you!" Everyone realises this is not going to
be an easy feat. The boys grammar is very annoying, as well as their
broken sentences.
---------------------
Nicole and Zoey are on the laptop in the lounge.
"See, in your average bagel, there are 500 calories."
"How many carbs?"
"Nobody counts carbs anymore!"
"Why not?"
"Because they're stupid." While they start to argue, Quinn rushes in,
hanging up the phone. Rather bossily, she pushes them off the computer.
"Why can't you use the computer in YOUR room!" Zoey asks irately.
"The wireless is down, now SHUSH. There's an illness in my family."
The girls look shocked, and sorry for Quinn. She loads the internet,
and a webcam pops up.
"Is that a llama?" Nicole asks in shock.
"Otis is NOT a llama, he's an alpaca, and he's sick," Quinn says sadly.
She explains that she got him for Xmas when she was 9, and that he's
her very best friend in the world.
"The veterinarian is there with my parents now." Quinn's mom keeps
trying to stick her head in front of Otis, at which Quinn looks
exasperated (either that, or the fact her parents keep calling her
"Quinny.")
The vet thinks Otis (who has been whining the entire time) is
depressed. He's been crying and not eating.
"A depressed llama?" Nicole asks skeptically.
"Alpaca - now SHUSH! What could he be depressed ab... MOM! Have you
been reading him your romance novels again!" she accuses.
"No, baby, we think he's depressed because he misses you." Nearly in
tears, Quinn says she's a terrible person and wishes she had never
gone to PCA.
The vet asks her to come home, to cheer Otis up for a few days. It's
not possible, being the middle of the semester.
"Don't worry, baby, I'll cheer up your ostrich," her mom says perkily.
"MOM! He's an alpaca!"
She signs off sadly.
"Don't worry about it. My Uncle Ronnie used to be depressed," Nicole
says cheerfully.
"And he got over it, right?" Zoey says, attempting to cheer Quinn up.
"No, he went crazy and robbed a bank, then he went to prison." The
girls are not surprised at Nicole's lack of tact, but tell her off.
"Quinn, don't get all depressed."
"I'm not depressed.
The scene flicks to Quinn playing a very sad song on her trombone
underneath a tree. The girls are spying on her.
"She's depressed." They decide to throw her a party, entirely alpaca
themes, to cheer her up.
----------
The boys are in class, whispering about 'not winning... for I can go
longer without... invoking the letter... after R'
'wrong - I will win the bet, for one of you will talk the bad letter
before I do.'
The teacher nabs them for whispering, at which Chase hurriedly says
"I apologize."
"HA!"
"Z." An American cheat that, if Chase were in England, wouldn't work,
as our 'apologise' can ONLY be spelt with an S.
---------
The girls are throwing Quinn a huge party, all the girls are in the
lounge. They have an alpaca cake, and Mark has been forced into
a "million degree" aardvark suit (Nicole was in charge of that, and
claims alpaca's don't exist in costume form).
Quinn is excited as the webcam starts up.
"Look, Quinny, we're on the interweb again!"
"Otis! You look so cute in your little party hat." Quinn coos over
her friend, who is wearing a metallic purple party hat. He whines.
"He still sounds depressed," she says, her excited face suddenly
falling.
"Can we eat the cake yet?" asks Nicole, who has been attempting to
sneak a bit since before the party started. Quinn sadly says she
needs her camera, to take pictures of the party. The girls tell her
to hurry. When she has been gone for over an hour, Zoey goes looking
for her. She hurries back
in, moments later, clutching a letter.
"She's run away!"
COMMERCIAL BREAK
"How do we know she ran away? Maybe she's sulking, what does she
actually say?"
"I'm running away. I need to be with Otis in his time of need."
"Aww, a girl and her beast."
The girls are upset, because Quinn being off campus without
permission would get her suspended or worse ~ expelled. They run
around the campus looking for her, all deciding to split up. When they
leave, Mark faints from the heat of the costume the girls wouldn't let
him take off. He falls into the untouched alpaca cake.
It's Zoey who finds her heading up the stairs with her luggage.
"DON'T TRY TO STOP ME!" she wails, nearly hysterical. "Otis needs me!
There's a 4 foot tall furry bundle of sadness who needs me!"
Zoey yells at her, saying she'll be expelled, and there's no way for
her to get all the way to Seattle, tells her to be rational.
Zoey says she'll fix it, if Quinn SWEARS she won't leave PCA.
Reluctantly, Quinn agrees, and follows her friend back inside.
-------------
Michael and Chase are eating dinner with Lola and Nicole. The girls
are REALLY annoyed by the boys' broken conversation.
"Could this be more annoying!"
"Look Michael, there be the girl you like." Chase tries to make
Michael say her name. "Tell Lola and Nicole the name of the girl you
enjoy."
Lola is too annoyed, she dials Logan and decides to trick him into
saying his OWN name, as Reese is spelt with an S. Despite pretending
to be from a TV company saying he has won a trip for 2 to Honolulu,
Logan doesn't fall for it. Gets to "Ree" in his name before Lola
slips up ("FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LOGAN, REE WHAT!"), and
he tells her off.
"Ree....jected, buh bye."
------------
Dean Rivers is going crazy, his lights are flashing, his coffee
machine keeps starting, and dogs keep barking. He keeps asking his
secretary to call Quinn. Zoey slips in, asking to speak to him. He
says he's busy, he spilled coffee on "This thing here..." He raises
the box - "and now it's call kerbluey." After breaking his assistant's
nose trying to get coffee, he explains that Quinn refuses to fix the
machine as she's 'too depressed.'
"I know how to cheer her up, have you ever heard of an alpaca?"
-----------
The boys have gone half a week without the letter S. And all three
are gloating that they will win, not wanting to 'not win' and be
embarrassed with that outfit.
"Michael, I have been waiting SIX weeks for you to ask me out, what is
up with you? Do you wanna go out with me or not!" Michael is shocked
by Vanessa's outrightness. He stutters for a non-S response before
settling on:
"YES!"
"HA, you lose," Logan brags.
"Yes ends with 'S.'"
"I don't care!" Michael cheers, he is excited and starts saying S in
every word, before running off to SSSuSSshi Rox (for SSSorbet and
SSSoda) with Vanessa.
"Sassy. Three S's," Chase says, proud of it. Logan nods in agreement.
-----------
Zoey leads Quinn across the grounds.
"Zoey, where are you taking me, I am too depressed to do anything
fun!" she wails, not happy at being dragged out of her sulk. "YOU
DIDN'T!" Otis is standing in front of them.
"We did."
"But how did you get him to California?" she screams, hugging Otis
(flying glomph at him).
"She called your mom," Nicole says. "...Who's a little crazy. So we
asked to speak to your dad. Then we just... did it."
Zoey informs Quinn that she cleared it with Dean Rivers, that Otis is
allowed on campus for the weekend, as long as she fixes his voice
system! Quinn is happy, and she begins talking to Otis in alpaca.
"Quinn speaks Alpaca?"
"Does that surprise you?"
"No." Quinn walks off around campus while music is playing, she waves
happily at all the people she passes.
-------------------------
"OK, so I got this scar when I was seven and I was riding my bike and
there was a flash on the handle bars..." Chase is explaining, showing
Logan and the girls minus Quinn a scar on his elbow.
"Hey, guys," Quinn interrupts, passing them with a wave. Logan looks
puzzled.
"Did Quinn just walk by here with an alpaca?" he says in disbelief.
"Yep," the girls say carelessly.
"Weird," Chase says. Michael runs past in a bikini top, hula skirt,
and a flashing light on his head.
"Hey guys." He waves.
"Did Michael just run by here... in a bikini top?"
"And hula skirt?"
"Yep," the boys say carelessly.
"Weirder," Zoey said, mimicking Chase.
Closing line: "Life is hard." ~ Dean Rivers.
WOW: Longest post I've ever made. I'm honoured to be the first (Sorry, Bruce &
Rob) to like report on it.
You guys are in for an awesome ep on Sunday.